Finding someone to take the time to invite you into the inner realms of thier culture is difficult. Almost impossible. However, we have eeked our way into a few experiences that are rich and fulfilling, and although simple, give us a glimpse into real life. As a tourist and foriegner you always hover around the outer sphere of local life, never quite understanding the inner layers of the cultural strata. But if you find that guide, generous in spirit and energy , having the power to unlock and willingness to open the door, they are the magic key we seek. We find that if you stay in one place long enough, you are able to make those connections with people and are invited into those corners that you only see after going down the same street ten times. Our favorite restaurant, Phonheuang, nick named by us,The Bo Bun, after our favorite dish. It is a place that we frequent almost daily and have become regulars.
We love the Bo Bun, a bowl of rice noodles, greens and spring rolls that is addictive. For 20,000 kip ( 2.75$)
It is a family run business, the cooking done by the mother and aunt, the front of the house hosted by Vanvisa, or who goes by “Khaek”.
We have gotten to know Khaek, and after many interactions, she graciously offered to take me and Addie to go shopping for a traditional Lao skirt. Excited, I jumped at her offer. The next day we met at the restaurant and went in her car to the Phosi Market, a local market that sells fabric, clothes and other essentials. With Khaek leading us we sorted through stacks of fabric, sorted through many styles and gathered many helpers in our quest. 
After finding the fabric, we then brought it to a seamstress who took my measurements and promised to have it ready in one hour. 
As we walked through the maze of the market and by groups of women sitting with thier wares, and they stared at Addie, with her Lao outfit and murmured ” nagm rai” smiling and laughing, “very beautiful”. It was a window into daily life and we were lucky to be granted the experience. 
I love my skirt. It fits perfectly and is narrow and slimming, however the genius of the Lao design has it wrap in front, gathering in front of your legs to allow room for walking and movement. I learned a lot about our favorite waitress Khaek.
She is 34, attended University and studied Business. She was born in the same house as the restuarant, which has only been in business for one year. Her mother told her from early on to ignore everything and just focus on studying. Her mother and aunt run the kitchen, and though she knows how to cook, she prefers not to. She is a world traveler and visits a country for a month every year, visiting France and Italy, wanting to visit Germany or the Maldives this year and the next. We invited her to visit us in Oregon, but apparently Visas are quite difficult to get to the United States. We have spent a long time in Luang Prabang, some would say too long, almost three weeks. However, a place really gets into your heart and body if you sink into it, and now our memory of Luang Prabang is solid.
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Minutes before we actually crossed the border Jack proceeded to vomit all over his lap. It was a surprise and we were unprepared. The driver’s attendant gave me a roll of toilet paper and a few plastic bags. I feel like cleaning up three cups of vomit the consistency of oatmeal with tissue should be some sort of master challenge on a game show. Add to that the pressure from the immigration police standing at your shoulder telling you to get off the bus and a shocked unwell twelve year old with snot running down his face holding a plastic bag of vomit…and you got a difficult task to complete. However, we made it and these stories of adversity only had color to our memories! Character right? 
A nice Thai couple that we met on the bus. Walked with us the mile into town at night when we got into LP. 
We are in Laos. Luang Prabang, a world Unesco site that was destroyed by Chinese mercenary armies in the late 1800s and only accepted French protection in 1888. The French brought Vietnamese immigrants to help rebuild Luang Prabang and the city became a popular escape for Parisians. Due to royalist alliances, Luang Prabang escaped ruin by the huge number of bombs dropped on Laos by the United States during the Vietnam war. The large French villas, once in disrepair are now revived and charging boutique prices with the influx of new money. 
The Luang Prabang airport only opened 13 years ago. Espresso and baguettes abound. Delicious baguette sandwiches for 10,000 kip, about $1.20. Add our favorite drink–blended ice,ginger,lime and mint and for $2.40 and you have a meal. 
I was here 20 years ago. It is very different now, motor bikes instead of bicycles, jeans instead of traditional skirts. More plastic garbage. However, still 33 temples packed into this small city! 
Monks robes hang to dry 
Old French Villa 
Laos is poorer, dirtier and rougher than Thailand. But along with this grime emerge old French villas next to large gold buddhas, amazing photo opportunities around every corner. We have observed in both Laos and Vietnam, countries with communist leadership, there is a tolerance for trash and rubble piles on the sidewalk and along the road. Our guess is maybe there less a sense of private responsibility as everything is owned collectively, or infrastructure and garbage collection are the government’s responsibility? Since we only scratch the surface in our understanding of the different places we visit we never really know. Filled with plastic bottles. Recycling I hope. Also, the capitalist drive to improve customer service and make money is literally asleep here, as shop keepers nap in their stores, often having to be wakened to buy something. The pace of service is very relaxed and slow. 
Tuk Tuk driver napping 
Sleeping soundly Often we have seven year olds waiting on us at restaurants and convenience stores. They are adept with a calculator and have thier basic english phrases down. This culture reminds me a little of Vietnam and I swear we hear “Chi Oi” amongst groups of women, or “hey you” in Vietnamese, but maybe we are imagining it. We have found a very inexpensive guest house along the river. It is an anomaly as lodging in this town is geared towards older tourists on group tour,new moneyed Chinese, and the prices reflect this. We are paying $24 a night for two rooms, however I feel like I am living in a Steinbeck novel. Cannery Row does come to mind. 
I think about cockroaches crawling over me at night and rats scurrying up the open drain in the bathroom. We have two adjoining rooms with doors that go out onto a balcony over the street. 
Our Guesthouse A saving grace is that although water stained and cracked, the ceilings are high and there is a window. Each room has carpet from the 1990s and threadbare sheets over single rock hard mattresses with heavy pillows that are weighed down by years of use. I am choosing to believe that everything is old and dingy, but clean? Recently? The outlets spark and lights flicker when you use them, but our doors go directly outside so escape from fire is quick. The bathroom is wet and smells sulfurous, the sink drains directly on the floor…however the shower water is warm, initially. Cork plays Jazz on his speaker and just having the music playing gives the place a sort of drug induced artist charm, one could even say Bohemian if you blur your vision by removing your glasses. Well after our first night’s sleep, no tell-tale bites. (I keep my fears and concerns to myself as the kids only complaint is that the WIFI is slow…which is the usual in all of Laos). I feel like this is a good test of my priviliged snobbery. However, two nights are adequate and tomorrow we move to a different guesthouse that we found along a quiet street near temples and our favorite restuarants. We worked out a discount and got the room down to $15 each a night and I am very happy to move there!
These children have visited over 25 countries and present a sophistication and worldliness that is uncanny. They are really great, and Erik and Rachel have done a excellent job in creating generous, kind and interesting humans. A parenting goal that we all have. We really enjoyed being with them. We met them for a few meals and also went on an adventure to see the Chiang Dao caves which was over a two-hour city bus ride outside of Chiang Mai. We hitchhiked, rode in the back of truck, traded travel stories and watched the kids be silly together. I am so happy to have met this very special family and hope our paths cross again.
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We are lucky to have found this gem. It sits above a busy street in the old town and you can watch all the hustle from a lush patio filled with Thai antiques and plants, eating sticky rice and fried eggs, sipping hot Nescafe near the running fountain. It is run by Ma, a generous woman with never-ending energy and good cheer that does everything to make sure that your every need is met. For $15 a room, it is the best deal in town. We love it.
Being in Chiang Mai has actually been a break from traveling. We found another home. We will miss it a lot. I am sure we will be back.
Bochner Family Adventure 